made a strategic ‘joke’, testing the waters–

saw the whatsapp forward you sent, my hope falters;


sometimes all i want, is to react to those comments-

not hold my breath, bite my tongue,

because to you the spectrum of gender, sexuality– are unknown concepts;

but if i open my mouth i know i’ll repent,

to feel all this pain, repress all this angst– i am too young


i silently cry into your shoulder, knowing you’ll never understand the reason;

for, all you think of who i love, my relationship– is treason


you say your love is unconditional, but you know there are exceptions;

of who i am, who i love, you have misconceptions


i write in my diary, using words to substitute conversation,

hoping one day i’ll have the confidence to make this declaration


this burden is heavy, the weight of this secret;

but much easier to deal with, than spilt milk and crushing regret


the papercuts building up to the hurt– make me want to scream;

but the world is not ideal, of a place without scorning glances, silent judgment– i can only dream


but now i’m tired of the lies,

letting fear hold me in a choking grip;

the gravity of these untold words, no longer have an astonishing size

no longer am i anxious about letting my story slip


i’m sorry this news may disappoint,

i’m sorry i could do nothing to change your viewpoint


i love who i love, and that’s my identity,

the people you look down upon, are now my community;

i no longer crave your validity,

your future unacceptance is no longer my insecurity


mom, dad,

i am gay.

here is my truth, raw and unedited–

i no longer need your approval, will no longer be led astray,

to search for a life of love, is the path to which i am headed.





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