Summed up in a line: It’s like marriage- starts off sweet, ends bitter. (Come at me scrubs)


Genre: Stealth | Action

Online: Yes, but servers are rubbish.

Open-world? Yes

Feels? They are… present if you have played the previous games.

Platinum Hunt: Medium difficulty | One online trophy


Gameplay: Venom Snek, your character, has a bionic arm and can carry three guns at a time. He can also carry an infinite number of mags (but not infinite ammo for… some reason). The gameplay is quite fluid, but gets repetitive quickly, especially the mission-beginning-drop-in-from-chopper cut scene. When I first started playing the game, I had cheesecake no idea what to do, and went guns blazing.

I died, bad.

The game requires you to be stealthy, but not in a way that it lays out an incredibly obvious way to sneak past a battalion of guards. No, you have to wait, wait and watch. You need to carefully scope out an enemy outpost, not just slack your way through it. It’s a very realistic game in that sense. You also have a total of four ‘buddies’, each of whom you can call on to assist you in missions.

D-Dog grows much bigger and can rip throats out with a knife instead of…using his sharp teeth

The Diamond Dogs, your own private army Originally captioned “Me at the club with my bros” by Big Boss

Did I mention you could smoke to speed up time?

Story: You are Venom Snek, a man who woke up after 9 years from a coma. Now, mere hours after waking up, learn to shoot, climb, jump and crouch your way through Afghanistan. Then, for some reason, go to Africa, where kids will shoot at you.

Now, with no discernible plot, an ending you have to watch on YouTube that they didn’t put in because of time constraints, along with repetitive missions so blatantly repetitive that they actually decided to make that a feature, a hot chick who doesn’t (can’t?) speak who’s every male fantasy, a wolf/dog, a horse that can be told to poop, and lastly, a rip-off of the machine things from Avatar, welcome to METAL SOLID V: SCREW KONAMI

The game is set in the 1984’s Afghanistan and Africa

Damn it Snake, this is no time for games!” – Ocelot’s last words

So Snake, can I get a bionic arm too?” “Uh no, Hot Topic’s out of those. Sorry.”

Graphics: The graphics might just be the only thing that save this game. On the PlayStation, the graphics are the best I’ve ever seen. The way the foliage moves, your horse stumbles across rocks, and your enemies gush blood is AWESOME!

Snake on a Horse


Mark targets, and craft strategies. Not that they’re going to work, anyway.


Graphics: Yes

Story: No

Gameplay: Yes. (if you like stealth on steroids)

  I like this!


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