“The beach in the US.. *EXAMS*. The joke about Samosas my friend told me.. *EXAMS*. *BOARDS, KIDNAPPINGS, CREEPY MAN, EXAAAAAAMS!* The bag of candy I hid from my sister.. *CREEPY MAN AND EXAMS!!* OHMYGODEVERYTHINGISGOING WRONGINEEDHELP!!!” That’s me, desperately scanning my mind for comforting thoughts as I sink deeper and deeper into my dark ones. My breath now comes in short wheezes. I finally succumb to my mind. The darkness sets in and along with it come the shivers, the cold and sweaty hands, and the familiar feeling of helplessness.
Yes, familiar. Not many would have made an acquaintance of a feeling, that too, a feeling of helplessness. One of the worst of emotions, that is considered to surface once in a blue moon. But, that’s just for ‘normal’ people. Not for ‘weirdos’ like me, not for people who barely get by without having a couple of miserable hours each day. The jeering we endure daily is nothing compared to the amount of self-shaming we do. And what do people do to help us? Oh, NOTHING. Just a daily dose of comments like “What an attention seeking crybaby”, “Doesn’t she understand we all have our own problems to deal with?”, and, “Boo hoo, there she goes again, trying to gain our sympathy”.
It’s not very helpful, if you ask me (and all of my fellow ‘weirdos’).
But here’s the thing, if we really wanted to capture your attention, we have a long list of things we could have done and enduring panic attacks or having depressing thoughts is certainly not one of them. And so, listen up you ‘normal’ people, be humane, be gentle and be understanding because trust me, you never know what goes down and when. And those very ‘weird kids’ you laugh at now, might be your only pillars during your tough time. Maybe then, you’ll realize the importance of the three words which help the most- “We’re always here”.

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  1. Much much vaster, deeper than any dark or sinking feelings in you are the strength, joy and wisdom in you. Have faith in these positives in you just as you have faith in the reality of panic or worthlessness. Focus on every flicker of light, joy, smile, positivity coming out in your thoughts and actions and in time, it will take over all the dark and dingy thoughts that may seem frequent and stronger right now. The inner joy and peace will overwhelm them in all, in time.


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