Summed up in a line: wololo

Memorable quote: OCHEDIN VALANNOR!

Genre: Action | Beat ‘em Up

Online: Only for PS4 / X1; rubbish anyways

Open-world? Yes

Feels? Nah mate.

Platinum Hunt: Easy, super ez


Gameplay: You are Talion, the Captain of the Black Gate. You are also Celebrimbor, a legendary elf who crafted 19(.5 technically) of the 20 Rings of Pawnage- I mean, Power. The game has Batman-esque combat, but where it really shines is the Nemesis System.

The Nemesis System

As an undead Ranger, every time you die, you respawn at the nearest Tower (who knew there were more than two? Outsidexbox reference!). That’s not it though, as the Uruk (read: Orc 2.0) that dealt the finishing blow is promoted to the position of Captain in this hierarchy-like system, the Nemesis System.

Each Uruk has his own fears and hates and personalized, randomized personality.

Mogg here has a weakness for my sword and bow.

I met an Uruk that talked like fricking Yoda: if that doesn’t get you stiff, I don’t know what could. Eventually, if you die to the same Uruk enough times, he gets SUPERDUPERULTRA promoted to a Warchief. Warchiefs are tougher… I think. They actually seem to be as tough as a captain.

Delicious fresh mint!

Now, my favourite part of the game is planning and plotting. Not every situation can be won by brute force (just like 99% of them). Sometimes, you can go after the personal bodyguards of a captain and turn them against him mid-combat. How? I hear you clicket-clack on your oily keyboards. Well, Celebrimbor, nice guy he is, can essentially “brainwash” the Uruk-hai into following his every whim (no not that way, get your mind of the gutter).

I just couldn’t help myself.