WARNING: The following article consists of crudely formed puns that deteriorate in humour as one proceeds. The author is brutally aware of the pain caused to the reader, and hopes that there will not be too many threats of bloody murder that follow. The author hence recommends reading at one’s own risk. She also recommends taking a break after a few puns if the reader loses faith in humanity. Puns made with friends are marked (+).

  1. What is the standard unit of measuring the weight of a shape?

A parallelo-gram.

  1. What’s a shape that can wheel around a baby?

A parallelo-pram.

  1. What’s do you call a pig that’s a shape? (+)

A parallelo-ham.

  1. What do you call a shape that can click pictures?

A parallelo-cam.

  1. What do you call a suffocating crowd of shapes?

A parallelo-cramped.

  1. What do you call a starchy shape?

A parallelo-yam.

  1. What do you call a shape with coca-cola? [AND/OR] What do you call a shape that believes in itself?

A parallelo-can.

  1. What’s a shape that’s public transport?

A parallelo-tram.

  1. What sound does a shape make when it explodes?

A parallelo-bam!

  1. What do you call a funny shape?

A para-LOL-ogram.

  1. What do you call an old shape?

A parallelo-gran.

  1. What do you call a candid shape?

A parallelo-frank.

  1. What do you call a human-shape mutant? (+)

A parallelo-man.

  1. What do you call a shape in hell?

A parallelo-damned.

  1. What do you call a shape used for cooking?

A parallelo-pan.

  1. What’s the shape getting under the sun?

A parallelo-tan.

  1. Where does a shape stay in the middle of the woods?

A parallelo-camp.

  1. What do you call a cool shape?

A parallelo-fan.

  1. What do call a ballistic shape?

A parallelo-tank.

  1. What do you call a shape in an abandoned basement?

A parallelo-dank.

  1. What do you call mischief pulled by a shape?

A parallelo-prank.

  1. What do you call a shipwrecked shape?

A parallelo-sank.

  1. What do you call a sponsoring shape?

A parallelo-ad.

  1. What do you call a shape that can carry stuff?

A parallelo-bag.

  1. What do you call a shape that’s a vehicle?

A car-allelogram.

 

 

BONUS ROUND (You really thought that was all?)

  1. What’s the measure of an angle in Antarctica? (+)

Zero degrees.

  1. What do you call a rectangle that’s recently been in a car accident?

A wrecked-angle.

  1. What’s the book about ovals called?

A Noval.

  1. What do the shapes use to go to school?

A rhom-bus.

  1. What do you call a book on the shapes’ feudal systems written by Jane Austen?

Squires and Squares.

 

– Ya(retracted for security reasons) Verma, Amity International School, Noida

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