Nothing, Everything, and the Line in Between- Urvi Shukla

She walked into her room after another day of nothing. It was torturous, going through the same old, boring routine again and again. She saw no point in it all- the world, life. It wasn’t sadness. All she knew, was that it definitely wasn’t happiness. And all she wished for, was something. Something to replace this never-ending phase of nothing. She wanted to feel, no matter how painful it could be. Because pain, as far as she remembered, was bliss, as compared to this awful emptiness.

That day, one of her friends had told her that they were jealous of her, because she had such a simple life- no drama, no heartache, nothing to stress about. Little did they know, how it was this very reason she was slowly falling apart.

It sounds absurd, I know. But there are people, who wish to feel pain, who wish to have their hearts broken, and if possible to take other people’s sorrows away and bear them by themselves. And I know this, because I’m one of those people.

Emotions are important. What are we without them? NOTHING. Robots, if anything- accustomed to fulfilling what the world desires, meeting social expectations, and living the same day, over and over. I strongly believe that the extremities of being are to be cherished. It is these extremities, which make us feel most alive.

Yes, there are days when you want it to stop, when you want to switch it off. There are days when it all gets a ‘little too much’. And I agree that we all deserve a break from everything every once in a while.  But not feeling anything altogether, is a dreadfully different experience. When you first hit that switch, it may be relieving. But when it stays like that, that’s when it gets exhausting. I don’t know why nobody ever talks about this. Are there not enough people to understand?

We want to feel. You must have thought about what happens when we die. Is it really just that, a sudden dark end to all your years of living, when it just goes black? That thought is difficult to accept by our soft minds. So we give ourselves hope that it doesn’t lead to nothing, that there is indeed SOMETHING after death. We don’t actually want to stop feeling all of a sudden. Unfortunately, the truth behind death is unknown to all except those who actually meet it.

How would you describe an extremity, say rage? Your blood rushing faster than ever, your head about to explode due to this powerful force you’ve brought upon yourself- it’s as if you could burn the building down in a blink. How do you control rage? Most people would scream into a pillow, or punch a wall. You see, this mega-energy needs to be stabilized. It‘s also possible to channel one emotion into another. In fact, that’s what your body tends to do. During fits of rage, why do we cry? Isn’t crying meant for times of despair? Why is it that while laughing really hard, we start crying? Ah, the way our mind functions. There’s a spark to it that makes it so fascinating.

There are many other things beyond our understanding. Love, known to be one the most vigorous forces existing, is yet not completely understood by anyone. Most people in love claim to know everything about it. However, all experiences are different, and it is not right to teach others about love, because you can never understand it unless you have experienced it on your own. That’s what makes it so special. You must have come across someone who used to believe they would love someone forever, or been there yourself. But does it actually work that way? The concept of ‘forever’ is so conflicting, there’s really not any conclusion to it. Sometimes it lasts, sometimes it doesn’t. And when it doesn’t, it is because time overpowers love. Time overpowers all emotions.

There is so much to be said, and not much at all. The line between something and nothing very thin, though it may not seem so. The ‘extremities of being’ can be so puzzling, they break your soul and mend it in a continuous cycle. But whether you are a part of ‘something’ or ‘nothing’, there is one thing that is surely true- there is always, always, hope. There are ways to calm the storms of blind panic or anger, and ways to make your otherwise bleak life come to life. No matter which end of the spectrum you find yourself on currently, there’s hope for you too.

 

-Urvi Shukla, Amity International School, Noida

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