Take Care, Be There- Udita Guha

What is depression?  

Google says that it means “a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest”. If Google says so, then it must be true; but is it?

Yes, it is, but there is much more to it than that. I think depression feels like a state of constant loneliness and emptiness. No hope in life…simply sitting, maybe even surrounded by people, yet all alone pondering what is the purpose of life? Is there any?

Many people think that depression is just sadness. They don’t even know the difference between being alone and lonely. After experiencing it myself, my perspective of life has changed. You start seeing everything differently. You change completely. Is it difficult to notice that a person has changed completely? IS IT THAT DIFFICULT?

Or is it just that people are so ignorant, that I can describe them as intentionally blind?

So blind, that they can’t even see the scars on our wrist, or the dullness of our eyes, or us begging for them to notice our grief, for them to look into our eyes and say, “ I know how you feel. You can open up. I can help you. I am there for you. PLEASE!”. Because if you, on your own, go and open up to people about the fact that you have depression, they will just think you want attention or sympathy. And people wonder why so many who suffer don’t open up.

Do you know that feeling when you have lots of friends, but feel lonely?

When you want everyone to leave you alone, but you just want someone to care.

When you feel like you have finally lost hope.

Maybe yes. Or maybe, no.

If you are one of those people who can relate, then I just want to tell you that the tears you shed every night and all the fear you feel is all worth it in the end. Life is beautiful. Even if yours is a mess, IT IS BEAUTIFUL. Thousands of people kill themselves every year. But I know that you aren’t one of them. I know that it is too much to handle sometimes but you are strong.  

I knew a girl once, who was severely depressed. She cried every night and when the pain was too much, she used to cut. She was so used to the pain and the sadness that she thought that this is what her life would be like, forever. Sometimes, the thoughts of ending it all would knock on her door. But she would never let those in. And if by any means they would slip in, she would kick them out. Because she knew if she would let them in, then the depression that dwelled inside her would have to find a new place to stay– and that would be the houses of people she loved with all her heart. The thought of them suffering the same way she did, terrified her.

There are many people similar to her, but some succumb to the pain. They let the thoughts in, and influence them in doing something irreparable. I feel that you should have no right to take someone’s life, even if it’s your own.

To those who do not identify with any of this, I can only request you to now one of those blind ignorant people. What you should do, is simply care and be there for those who need you. You never know when the person sitting beside you is hurting.

~Udita Guha, 10-N, Amity International School Noida 

 

 

 

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